Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Star-Crossed Lovers

Spoiler Alert: Full-on lesbian processing about the finale of “Doctor Who” Season 10 is about to happen. And, yeah, don’t watch that video is you don’t wanna feel the feels.

I’ve been terribly behind on my TV watching (having nightly panic attacks about the rapidly declined state of our country and rage blackouts at having to beg Republican congressmen not to kill us just so they can give millionaires tax cuts is really cutting into my leisure time, you know). But last weekend I finally caught up on the most recent season of “Doctor Who.” And, after thinking about it and thinking about it and rewatching some epsiodes I’ve decided – I like it, I really liked it.

Because of the delay between me watching the first episode and then the last, I had forgotten exactly how things were left between Bill Potts and Heather/The Sentient Oil Puddle. So I rewatched the finale, and then I rewatched the premiere back to back and, goodness, it works, it really works.

For those who didn’t watch this season, here is lightening recap of the story arc: lesbian chips server Bill meets a girl named Heather with a star in her eye who dreams of going places and then disappears into a sentient oil puddle that then chases Bill through space and time because, you know, insert lesbian U-Hauling joke. Bill convinces Heather/Puddle to let her go and then travels through space and time with The Doctor instead. But then she gets turned into a killer robot/Cyberman (which is bad – and kind of kills her) and Heather/Puddle returns to save her and turn her into a sentient puddle and then travel all of space and time together instead. The end.

So, technically – Bill dies-ish. So you could considered this a Bury Your Gays/Dead Lesbian Syndrome candidate. But it was also something more. I remember when I watched the season premiere it felt so melancholy. We’re meeting Bill at the same time she is losing this girl who just might be the one. So in the finale it all comes back around in the most unexpected and unexpectedly welcome way. Sure, Bill isn’t human anymore. But we’re all just atoms that can be rearranged any way you like now she is something else. And that something else gets to travel all of space and time with her girlfriend.

I’d place the finale of “Doctor Who” Season 10 in the same realm of “San Junipero.” That’s another story with the quite literal burying of the lesbians (like, for real, you see a burial). But the two women live happily ever after in the great virtual hereafter. A computer simulated reality, all of space and time. Whatever it takes to get our lesbian happy endings, hey, I’ll take it.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

No Wavering on Waverly

Things I didn’t know about Dominique Provost-Chalkley (a.k.a. the ever-adorable and thankfully no longer black-eyed, demon-possessed Waverly Earp).

1. She can dance. Like really, really dance.

2. She is British. Like really, really British.

I don’t know how it took me this long to realize either one. I blame not knowing about her British accent because I am one of those people who prefers reading interviews to watching them (sorry all media companies and your insane video pushes) and therefore just had never heard her speak out loud outside of her character. I also credit her incredible acting because I did not hear even a hint of that British-person-doing-an-American-accent thing you often hear when a British person does an American accent. But now that I know what her true voice sounds like, HELLO.



As for the dancing thing, well, I should have guessed after that “everyone’s thing”-cheerleading routine. And her well-toned midriff is continually on display on the show. Is that like written into her contract or what. But check it, homegirl can move.



Right, as if there weren’t enough reasons to love Dominique and WayHaught already. But, just to be safe, better watch that cheerleading scene one more time.

p.s. I could not be more thrilled by the news from over the weekend that “Wynonna Earp” has been picked up for a third season. (Way)Haught damn, that is well deserved.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Naked Lady Monday

It’s the most wonderful time...of the year. Yes, it’s The Body Issue time, which is here to tide us over with our sporty ladies fix until the Olympics roll around again. This year’s crop features a slew of talented athletes. I’m also pleased they at least tried to pose each of the athletes engaging in poses somewhat related to their sport. No more creampuff shots of naked ladies, dudes. Just naked ladies doing the thing they do best – kicking ass. Fine, that butt shot is pretty, extremely creampuff – the puffiest. But, you know, sometimes a little sweet isn’t so bad. So without further ado-ing, ready, set, naked.

A.J. Andrews, Softball


Kirstie Ennis, Adaptive Sports


Nneka Ogwumike, Basketball


U.S. Women’s National Hockey Team


Ashley Wagner, Figure Skating


Michelle Waterson, MMA


Novlene Williams-Mills, Track & Field


Caroline Wozniacki, Tennis


Friday, July 21, 2017

My Weekend Lesbian Power Couple

Newsflash: All your favs are gay and apparently dating each other. In an interview with ESPNW released yesterday, it was revealed that Sue Bird, of the U.S. Women’s National Basketball team and the WNBA’s Seattle Storm, and Megan Rapinoe, of the U.S. Women’s National Soccer team and NWSL’s Seattle Reign, are dating. They met, and this is adorable, at the 2016 Olympics in Rio because of course their meet-cute is better/more impressive/infinitely sportier than yours.



In the same interview Sue, a 15-year veteran of the WNBA and 10-time All-Star, came out as gay.

“I'm gay. Megan's my girlfriend. ... These aren't secrets to people who know me. I don't feel like I've not lived my life. I think people have this assumption that if you're not talking about it, you must be hiding it, like it's this secret. That was never the case for me.

"It's happening when it's happening because that's what feels right. So even though I understand there are people who think I should have done it sooner, it wasn't right for me at the time. I have to be true to that. It's my journey."
Congratulation on coming to this stage of your journey, Sue. And congratulations on your super sporty relationship. This is most definitely one of those times I bemoan the fact that same-sex couples can’t produce their own biological offspring because, damn, can you imagine the athletic prowess of the Bird-Rapinoe baby?



So now I guess all that is left is to rank them on the Definitive Lesbian Power Couple List. Below Ellen and Portia (duh, because everyone is below them). Probably above Samira and Lauren (sorry, fellow writers, we’re still just writers). Less May-December than Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor (you know, not that there's anything wrong with that). Near wherever K-Stew and whomever she is currently dating (but seriously, who is it now?) Happy lesbian power coupling weekend, all.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Wonder Women

My goodness, now isn’t this some perfect timing. First the “Wonder Woman” movie comes out and we’re all transported to a paradise island of Themyscira filled with Amazons who know that when it comes to pleasure men are not necessary. And now we get a biopic about the man who created Wonder Woman and the wonder women in his own life. If you know even a little bit about Wonder Woman’s comic origins (or have perused some old copies) you know that the man who created her and went by the penname of Charles Moulton was, well, kinky as hell. So naturally the film “Professor Marston and the Wonder Women” delves into his kinks and polyamorous relationship with his wife and a female student, who helped to inspire Wonder Woman.

Now, it would be easy to go with the “Oooooh, threesome”-route with this film. But the trailer suggests something much deeper and – very thankfully – let’s the women’s role in this relationship truly shine. And it also seems to blends two of my favorite things: feminism and ladies-kissing-ladies But then, we should expect no less from lesbian filmmaker Angela Robinson, who wrote and directed the project. She is the writer-director behind your favorite campy lesbian film “D.E.B.S.” and your favorite “The L Word” sequence a.k.a. The Phone Tree. So, hell yeah, let your freak flag fly. The more wonder women, the better.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

No Time Like the Present

Just like probably everyone born after 1963, I read “A Wrinkle in Time” as a kid and loved it. How could you not? A girl travelling through the space time continuum to fight evil and save her family? Hello, yes. And now that the trailer for the new big screen adaptation I have a feeling kids old and young will remember again why they loved this story so much. The first trailer for the film from director Ava DuVernay is a feast for the eyes. And, just as exciting, is how wonderfully diverse the cast is. Look, folks, this is science fiction – we get to make the worlds we want to see. We’re bound by nothing but our imagination. So why not be inclusive? Exactly, no reason at all.

Monday, July 17, 2017

The Lady Doctor Is In

You gals, you gals, WE DID IT! We ruined more men’s childhoods! A round of high vaginas to everyone! It only took 54 years, but finally we have a female Doctor Who. Yesterday it was announced that British actress Jodie Whittaker will pick up the Sonic Screwdriver as the 13th Doctor. Of course, now they have to turn it onto a Sonic Melonballer or something because ladies and boobies and such. Duh.

I’m not familiar with Jodie (I never watched “Broadchurch” or “Attack of the Block” or any other “Black Mirror” episode than “San Junipero”). But folks who know about these things seem very pleased about her casting and I am as well. I have not been a huge fan of No. 12, Peter Capaldi. He is so terribly grumpy. But I love Pearl Mackie’s Bill and very, very (very, very, very) much hope she stays on as the Companion. A white female Doctor and a queer woman of color Companion? YES, ALL OF THE PLEASES. The casting also sets up some delicious queer possibilities. Hello, sweetie – bring on River Song, bring her now.



So it seems my plans to make an all-female reboot of everything ever (“Ghostbusters,” “Star Wars,” now “Doctor Who”) is going along swimmingly – except for that whole presidential election hiccup. *stares into the endless abyss of reality and then looks back at my television* Obviously, man babies are already upset about this because there isn’t enough to be upset about in the world already. Because, sure, a more than 2,000-year-old alien who regenerates into new bodies and travels through all of space and time fighting other aliens and future and past humans and all manner of in between in a blue police all box that is bigger on the inside is totally believable as long as he is a dude. But as soon as The Doctor is a women, hold on now, let’s get a grip and go back to reality. Right. Got it, fellas. But, hey, you know what, I am 110 percent for ruining more grown men’s childhoods to make little girls this happy today.


Suck it, haters. There’s a new Doctor Who in town and she is gonna turn that Tardis into a blood yurt like all women have dreamed of for always. *witch cackle* *puff of smoke* *hail of tampons*

Edited to Add: This is for all the incensed men who have somehow stumbled their way to find this completely advertising free personal site by me, your friendly neighborhood "disingenuous feminist blogger": Welcome!

Friday, July 14, 2017

My Weekend Crush

I don’t pray. I’m not a religious person, as I’ve shared before. But I do, at times, understand the inclination to seek help from some all-knowing, all-seeing something out there somwhere. And I certainly recognize the desire to find grace in our lives. Which makes such an explicitly spiritual song like “Praying” such an interesting emotional journey. I hadn’t listened to it last week when it was released because, well, it’s called “Praying.” And, again, that’s not something I do.

But then this week I took the time to give it a listen and not only is it a good song, it’s emotional and defiant and powerful in a way in a way I had not expected. Kesha’s personal and legal battles have been well publicized. She has fought her record label to be let out of her contract with her sexual abuser. But her efforts have failed and her abuser remains free despite having to endure years of sexually, physically, verbally, and emotionally abuse. The world can be terrible and cruel and just terribly cruel.

Which is why a song like “Praying” has such an impact. Before I heard it, I had wrongly assumed it was about her seeking prayer for herself. She has talked openly about how abuse made her fall into a deep depression, experience intense anxiety and develop an eating disorder. But instead of that, her song turns the tables on her abuser. She hopes he is praying, and changing. It’s an empowering song, a defiant song, an important song about how we can break but not be broken forever by those who do us grievous harm. It’s a beautiful anthem about moving on and finding strength for the countless women who have also survived sexual assault, abuse and other terrors.

This is of added import during a time when our current administrations seems intent on making things even harder for survivors. Like having the secretary of education meet with so-called men’s rights groups who believe domestic violence and sexual assault are actually over-reported and also women who report rape cases which aren’t taken to trial should be trolled. Great. Just fucking great.

“Praying” is also a reminder in our disposable pop culture that women – especially young women – are not superfluous, interchangeable baubles. Each is her own person, has her own identity. This industry tried to turn Kesha into just an easily forgotten mess of smeared mascara and leftover glitter. But she is an artist, a woman deserving of her voice and her autonomy. A woman who has endured and will continue to create. And a woman whose light cannot be stolen by anyone. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Haught Uniform

You guys, YOU GUYS. We need to talk about Officer Way Haught’s new uniform. Her totally Haught/hot new uniform. Her full bonkers/bananapants new uniform.



Oh, Emily Andras, you’ve done it again. You’ve given lesbians, bi girls and general lovers of beautiful ladies everywhere another gift from the queer lady heavens. This uniform, THIS UNIFORM. Like, are there a lot of underwater crimes in Purgatory? Because, dude, that thing is a wet suit if I’ve ever seen one.

Old Uniform:


New Uniform:


Whatever the reason, I applaud the Purgatory Sheriff Department for its ridiculously form-hugging sartorial choices. I also applaud the ditching of the khakis. Let’s face it, no one looks their best in khakis. I mean, Officer Haught did her best and sure filled them out as nicely as possible. But, yeah, bless this wet suit/sheriff’s uniform.